Colossians 3:18-19 "Submit and Love"

Read Colossians 3:18-19.

"...submit....love...." NIV

How very fitting that I come to this verse on Jim and my 24th anniversary. As I see marriages all around me struggling, I am so thankful to have a husband that loves God first, and then totally loves me second, and only me. And I give the same back to him. The prevalence of promiscuity and adultery in society in general is horrible. But those not under the law are not required to submit to the law. What is truly sickening are the numbers living in sexual sin and destroying their marriages who are professing Christians. It grieves my heart. But my ranting, although true, is getting ahead of the Scripture.

Wives, submit to your husbands: I'm not sure why people have a difficult time with this one. I suppose desire for control or lack of respect for the husband has a great deal to do with it. Also, if you are married to an unbeliever I can see situations where submission would be very difficult. Paul expands on this thought in Ephesians 5:22-24. He states that the husband is over the wife as Christ is over the Church. The way I read that, my husband has a much tougher job leading me like Christ leads the Church than I have submitting to his authority and leadership. What a responsibility. My entire well-being and future is placed on my husband's shoulders. That's a heavy weight to carry. The antonym of "submit" is "fight." I don't want to fight my husband. A union that is fighting is a civil war. What marriage could survive under those conditions? We should be fighting for our marriages, not against them.

Now here's why submitting is so easy. Read the husband's responsibility. Love your wives. Again, Paul expounds on that thought in much greater detail in Ephesians 5:25-33. He is required out of his love to make me holy by leading us in the Word. Our sinlessness is partially his responsibility. He is to guide me to the holy life that God requires and protect me from sin. A husband is to love his wife like he loves his own body - feeding her, caring for her. The entire duties of a husband to his wife reflect the relationship of Christ and the Church. What a job and burden to carry out. These are times I am so glad I am a woman. Of course, I know that I have an amazing husband to follow, and I don't take that for granted. If only all men and women could realize that if they would just take on the responsibility God gave them, marriages would not be falling apart and families would be saved.

Lord, a horrible plague is attacking our marriages. Show us how to live out the sacred covenant You have designed and to keep it holy. Lord, we desperately need Your help and guidance now.

Further Thoughts:

1. The first line of defense in our marriages is our own commitment to the Lord. Are you walking with God in full devotion. He wants completely surrender in all areas of your life, not just the convenient ones. Let Him have everything.
2. Secondly, are you being the spouse that God called you to be? What needs working on? How are you going to make a change? Do you need tools or accountability? Get them!
3. If I had to boil down marriage into one word it would be "selflessness." If you give all of yourself to a person that loves you, you will receive back all you need. Placing each other second only to God is His only plan.
4. See also my blog on the marriage passage in Ephesians.