It's All About Relationships

"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-40 NIV

The greatest relationship we will ever have is with our Father. No other relationship should ever come before the intimacy we have committed to develop between us and our Creator. We have chosen to become His follower, and our complete being needs to be focused on total surrender to a love relationship with the Father. But we do not live on an island. Every day we are developing human relationships. As we consider the relationships we build in our earthly lives, we have to begin here -- "Love your neighbor as yourself." To be a commandment second only to loving God with your entire being states that how we handle relationships is a vital aspect of our social existence designed by our Creator. We cannot dismiss them and neither can we address them half-heartedly. Both reactions negate the importance God has placed on relationships.

This is a challenge for me. As an introvert, I am drained by people. Don't get me wrong; I love being with people. It's just that I must integrate "me" time into my day to recharge. That can tend to lean me towards selfishness. I will plan out my day to balance people time and recharge time. Unfortunately, the enemy will use this to his advantage and tempt me with an abundance of alone time to the detriment of time with people.When all is said and done, I am making life about my comfort rather than meeting other's needs.

Don't get me wrong; boundaries are not a bad thing. Balance is good as well. But when it is used as an excuse, it can become a hindrance to following the Father's commands.

So relationship-building requires selfless love for others. With the same intensity that I am protecting my personal time, I must love on others for I am to love my neighbor as myself. Obviously, I am loving myself all too well. I must work on loving others better.

But what does it mean to love others and who are our neighbors? I had a wonderful step-dad. Raymond loved everyone. There wasn't a person he would meet that he did not thoroughly cherish. And since he was a man who lived in the "now" in everything he did, he would take time for anyone, anytime, anywhere. I never knew someone who could make genuine friends of their co-workers and the mailman. He simply oozed time for one-on-one conversation. I say conversation, but his "conversations" consisted of asking a question and listening to the other person's answer with complete rapt attention. And then his entire body would reflect the emotion most empathetic with the speaker. If they were recounting something joyful, Ray was joyful. If they were sad, Ray was sad with them. If angry, he provided calm. If frightened, he gave safety. His entire focus was on other people and their needs -- any person his life came in contact with.

A week after Ray passed away, there was a knock on my mom's door. There stood a twenty-something girl holding a potted flower. "I just heard that Mr. Wells passed away," she said. "I had to find out where he lived and come to tell you how sorry I am and how much I will miss him." The young woman was the check-out girl where he bought his groceries.

That must be how Jesus walked on the earth -- completely focused on others. Attentive. Sympathetic. Helpful. Listening. Responding. Empathetic. Compassionate. With a selfless love.

Further Thoughts:

1. If I am to love others as myself, in what ways do I love myself?
2. List the ways Jesus showed love to others.
3. How did Jesus find balance between his own needs and meeting the needs of others?
4. What is hindering me from loving others like Jesus did?
5. What is one change I need to make today to better love those around me?

Lord, forgive me for my selfish ways. Show me today how to love better. Open my eyes to other's needs. Open my ears to their heart's cry. Teach me to love Your kids as You love Your kids.

1 Corinthians 13:3 Nothing I give will matter.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing. ~1 Corinthians 13:3

Many people believe that they can give more money or take on more responsibilities that eat up their time to make a difference. The problem with that philosophy is that it is centered in the “I” not in the “them” mentality. Even taking a seemingly pure concept executed with the wrong motives negates the power of the act. The action is not taken for the purpose of meeting another human being’s need. It is not taking into consideration another person’s feelings, sadness, or despair and trying to relieve their pain. Acts done for self- promotion are empty, selfish movements in the eyes of the Almighty.

The actions that make a difference are in giving out of pure love. Giving of money to someone because they desperately need it done completely out of love for them and not to elevate your status in their eyes. Giving of your time to an event so others can experience more love or help is giving out of a God-centered heart. Even giving of yourself to sacrifice for Christ must be done not as a holier-than-thou pious act, but done out of true love for your Savior. We walk a fine line as human beings to act out of love and not out of selfishness. But the pure heart is the heart God seeks.

Further Thoughts:

1. How did Christ demonstrate a pure heart and pure motives with His life?
2. Is your present giving – whether money, time, or actions – done out of love or for self-satisfaction? Explain.
3. What needs to change in your life to give out of love?

Father, make me conscious moment by moment that my motives are not selfish, but from a heart of pure love. Amen.

Matthew 28:16-20 "The Great Commission"

Read Matthew 28:16-20.

"Therefore go...." NIV

Here's our job -- our purpose on this earth. We were not made to sit on our hands and wait for Christ to return. He's given us something very important to do and that is to share Him with the world. He desires none to be lost, but all to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. That is a pretty tall order and we all must do our part. If we were just to receive Christ and then sit around waiting for Him to come back, we might as well just die and go to heaven. There's nothing left for us to do. But that's not how He planned it, and we need to be obedient to His calling on our lives.

Last night, I was at my library's book club (yes, I'm a book club geek;-) We were discussing Lying Awake by Mark Salzman. It's about a cloistered nun. I thought it was interesting that in the discussion, a non-believer said that he thought it was very selfish of her to spend so much time in silence and prayer and not share what she had learned with the world or to help people other than the other 11 nuns in her convent. Now, I'm not speaking against cloistered contemplatives; we have learned from the writings of many of them over the years, such as, Teresa of Avila. But God calls very few people to an isolated contemplative life. Although we all should take regular times of prayer and contemplation, we are to live in the world and share what we learn and live with others. Not only do we have this Great Commission, but we have the greatest commandment that we discussed in an earlier post -- love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and the second, love your neighbor as yourself. To do so, we need to be out among people.

So how are we doing with the great commission? Obviously, we love studying the Word, and I, personally, am a lover of silence and solitude. But we can't just sit here with our Bibles all day. We also can't just go about our day in the world without letting people know about Jesus. We have a simple calling, lead people to a saving knowledge of Jesus and teach them how to live an obedient life. As we close out the Gospel of Matthew and studying the life of Jesus, now is a good time to evaluate how we are living our lives. Jesus not only came to save us through His crucifixion and resurrection, but He also is an example of how to live. If a gospel was written about us, what would it say about us in accomplishing the calling God has put on our lives? Maybe it's time for a few contemplative moments.

Further Thoughts:

1. Matthew gives a very shortened version of Jesus Christ's life after the resurrection. For a broader view of His activities and lessons, read the other three gospels.
2. Take some time today to list ways that you are living out the Great Commission. How are you doing?
3. What are some giftings God has given you that you could put to better use to reach people for Him?

Matthew 6:1-4 "From the Heart"

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." NIV

This passage is the first of three acts of righteousness that Jesus will address -- giving to the needy, prayer, and fasting. All of them begin with the assumption that you will do them. It's not a suggestion or an "if" you will do them. Jesus is basically declaring that you will do these acts to live a holy life and be perfect "as your heavenly Father is perfect."

So first, we know we are to help those in need. The question is our motivation. Are we doing it only because Christ commanded it and we must be obedient? Is it coming from a fear for our salvation? Do we give to make ourselves feel better? Maybe it's to make ourselves look better in front of others. Or do we give as an act of love for our Lord and an extension of grace to others?

Jesus says be so oblivious to the personal gain of giving that your right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing. It's not about you, it's about the needs of God's creation. Must we live so insecurely that we have to be seen helping others to make us feel better about ourselves from the praises of men? What a sad and selfish generation we have become. We are to give generously and anonymously, and God will take care of our needs and reward us as He sees fit. This is a heart issue. Where is your heart focused?

Further Thoughts:

1. Read John Gill's commentary on this passage.
2. What is the relationship between "giving" and "generosity?" Support with Scripture.
3. How do you know God cares about the poor? Give examples from Scripture.
4. Have you helped someone in need lately? Give generously and without wanting anything in return. The Lord will reward you in due time.