James 5:19-20 "Loving Confrontation"

"My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins." NIV

This is a tough one because it means the risk of losing a friendship. Today we face so many accusations of "you're judgmental," when in actuality, we are simply living the straight and narrow and can see when someone else wanders off the path. Imagine walking along the edge of a cliff with a small child. You see the child start to make a bee-line toward the edge. What will you do? Say nothing and watch them fall to their death? No, you will scream, lunge, and yank them back to safety. Why? Not because you are so proud to know where the path is and that you are still on it, but because you do not want to lose the one you love.

Now none of us do this walk perfectly, but there are very clear indications that a brother or sister is spitting in the face of God's laws and ways. Certain behaviors and patterns show a lack of surrender to the Lord. How can we idly sit by and watch the enemy get a hold on those we love? How do we balance being a tool of God to help our brother/sister see their sin with a loving heart and attitude?

I suppose we must just do what needs to be done and commit the outcome to the Lord. If our heart's purpose is to truly show love to the body, then out of love we will confront.

Father, give me the love and courage to confront my fellow believer when needed, and help me to graciously and humbly receive rebuke when I have done wrong.

Further Thoughts:

1. Find examples in the Old Testament when one person confronted another? What did they do wrong and/or what did they do right? (Most of the time, God is the confronter. How does He do it?)
2. Is there someone you need to confront about their sin? Pray earnestly for God's Words to flow through you in love and for the other person's heart to be receptive. Tough love is a difficult road, but it is still love.

Matthew 26:69-75 "What is Your Resolve?"

Read Matthew 26:69-75.

"I don't know the man!" NIV

Five terrible little words that can change a life for eternity. I know thousands of my brothers and sisters around the world throughout centuries were faced with this dilemma - Do you know Christ? When said in a friendly conversation, it's a wonderful opportunity to share what Jesus means to you. But amidst persecution, your answer could mean death. And for too many, it has.

You really can't cast too much animosity toward Peter for denying Christ. How many of us would have done the same thing? Even though Jesus had warned His disciples that this would happen, when faced with reality, the human resolve can be very weak. Peter had been traveling for three years as a close confidante of Jesus. He had watched a gentle carpenter's son reach out to people all over the region to offer healing from their sicknesses and demons. He heard the parables Jesus told the people and the great wisdom He layed before them. So if these religious leaders would want to kill this gentle giant of a man, then what would happen to a simple fisherman that had followed Him? Peter probably thought he was a dead man walking and the fight for preservation kicked in big time. Notice how his denial escalated each time he was accused of being with Jesus. He was reaching panic mode.

Fortunately, that is not the end of the story. Peter's resolve later turned from self-preservation to complete surrender. Peter died for his beliefs because He would not deny his Lord again and is one of the great fathers of the Christian church for the leadership He gave after Christ's resurrection.

Not many in America have been faced with death for being a follower of Jesus Christ, but we do face a verbal persecution all the time. The same question, Do you know Jesus? when said in a hostile, hateful way takes on a whole new meaning. How many times have I been sitting in on a conversation that turned to a "those Christians" diatribe. A little part of me wants to run from the conflict. It's not easy being in the minority or having to defend what you believe when you are standing alone. What do we do with Jesus then? Deny or defend? Flee or stand?

When we are confronted with opposition to our beliefs, we don't have to prove anything. We do not have to have twenty Scriptures to rattle off, commentaries to whip out, or extensive debates to prepare. We need to know one thing - what Jesus did for me. I sat in church last week and watched video testimonies of fellow believers given right before they were baptized. Some were children that had the simple faith only a child-like heart can have. Others were older that had faced a lot of life. But all of them had one thing in common -- they'd met Jesus. There is nothing more powerful than hearing how Jesus transformed someone's life. That is why I believe what I believe - because Truth touched me and I was changed forever. That's what I can stand on. That is why when faced with opposition for being a Christian - physical, verbal or emotional - I can stand.

Further Thoughts:

1. Think of a situation where you were tempted to deny Christ. How did you handle it? Why? How would you do it differently next time?
2. Read further about Peter after Christ's resurrection? What was Peter's resolve? How did he reach that? How did he pay for that?
3. What Scriptures can we rely on when faced with opposition to Christ? Search for and memorize them so you are ready to face temptation.

Matthew 18:15-18 "Confrontation"

Read Matthew 18:15-18.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you." NIV

How often are we looking for a 3-5 step process in the Bible that will show us how to get out of a problem situation? But the Bible deals more with relationship than a process. Here we are actually given steps to take when sin occurs between brothers/sisters in Christ. Unfortunately, we are so much better at gossip than we are at confrontation. It just seems to come naturally to our desire for self-preservation. If we confront, we may have to deal with hostility or just someone not liking us anymore, and no one wants that. Maybe that's why God wrote down the steps so clearly.

So how are we to handle confrontation? Directly, humbly and in love. Remember, this is talking about a Christian brother or sister that you are confronting that has wronged you. We're family(which can actually make the sin more hurtful), but we must preserve that relationship at all cost, as well as, help each other out of sinful choices.

"Directly" comes from this passage. Go and show him his fault. Putting it off can only make things worse. Of course, depending on your personality, you may need a little buffer time to prepare your heart and attitude so you are acting not out of selfishness, but love.

"Humbly" is how we should approach anyone who has sinned. We must always filter our hurt through the fact that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Except for the grace of our Lord, I would be drowning in sin. I am not perfect but on a process of perfection just like my brother/sister. So with the same grace that I was afforded by our Lord, I should give to those who sin against me.

"In love" is my heart position. Love is patient, kind, ...keeps no record of wrong. Love preserves a relationship because we are united in Christ. Therefore, we should always try to mend the broken pieces of a relationship.

The reality is that the person may not be sorry for sinning against you or even believe it was a sin. (That's when you head to steps two and three.) But even though it takes the sad turn of unrepentance, you will have done what you could to preserve the relationship and their soul. This is the hardest part of all -- leaving someone to the sin they have chosen. But if we have taken the steps with a right heart and attitude, we will have done all we could do. The rest in the Lord's hands.

Further Thoughts:

1. How did David handle Saul's sins against him? Read 1 Samuel 24 and 26.
2. How did Jesus handle Judas' sin against him?
3. Is there someone you need to confront? Don't wait. Pray and then go. The Lord will give you the right words to say.